ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
