She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
