So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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