But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
