glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
