This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
