He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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