there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Come on in and take your pants off
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