those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
