Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
