shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Your dad touched me again.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
As shirtless as possible
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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