you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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