i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
this hospital has no fireball
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
