yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
one might say we're banned from that church
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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