he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
A bitchslap is in order.
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