I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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