I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
