i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
