It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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