If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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