i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I have post one night stand depression
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
