She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
