I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
