He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
