Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
