Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
