i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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