It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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