I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Is it penis luge time yet?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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