I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
