Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
