i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Randomize
