Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
