life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
