Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
