I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
