My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
