The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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