He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
