yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
