My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
