We got so high we made milksteak
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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