My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
