I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
