at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
