forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
