The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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