I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
