so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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