im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
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