it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
