Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
